My Letter to the Editor: Skate Park Drama

I decided to stoop down to the level of a letter writer today after I became bored enough to read said awesomeness on the chronicle's website. On it there was a letter going on about how horrible the location is for the proposed skate park; which is set for Howe Park which has been void of any function for years. Here's my humorous letter full of pomp.

Unfortunately I was unable to attend Wednesday’s meeting, but I still feel the need to add some insightful yet humorous information to this whole skate park debate.
I agree with Tom Early, not with the over generalized inference that all skaters are hoodlums, but in the fact that I know what it’s like to have been duped by those sneaky folks at the NWCPR. I remember a few years back I was all excited, the sun was shining on a beautiful spring afternoon and I grabbed my loud, annoying skateboard to go to our designated spot hidden from authority figures with ramps made of rotting wood. Upon arrival I became hip to their deception, the skate park the community funded had been torn down.
Of course, after my adolescent naivety fled my angered head, common sense took control. It was in this state that I had an epiphany, realizing that our little skate park wasn’t a teenage utopia; in fact, it was old, dirty, falling down and in an all around horrible location. In retrospect, the adult in me can respect the decision of NWCPR to remove the skate park with the intentions of building it in a new location.
Utah Phillips said one of the signs of being old is when you start criticizing youth, I guess I’m getting old. Another gift of my maturity is that I’ve noticed how abhorrent skaters in public can be, running around town chipping curbs, getting in the way of consumers at stores, annoying commuters; the appearance of such groups has multiplied since the absence of a functioning skate park.
Those truths lead us to where we are now, do we sit and wait years upon years for an entire youth center to be built to rid our streets of these cursing, drug using, vandalizing, under-aged drinkers? Or do we support the Parks and Recreation department to build one ASAP giving these kids (most of which don’t do the things that I just said, I was merely adding it in for satirical purposes) a centralized location in the view of many? It’s a public park and NWCPR rules will apply; the only difference from last time being that if placed in Howe Park it will be easier for the authorities, with help from community members, to enforce them.