The Exodus; Day 1, 11/19/08.

Late Wednesday morning, Cambra and I began out trek around the western states. It was bound to be our shortest, most familiar leg of our journey and went without, too much, struggle. I forgot my Camera didn't have batteries so this post won't have any pics, unlike the others to come.

As usual, this trip Eastbound on I-84 was going flawless until the hurdle known as cabbage hill between LaGrande and Pendelton, Oregon. The clouds looked ferocious and intimidating, which was strange considering the blue skies that we'd had all week; considering my luck, however, it seemed fitting. To our pleasant surprise it wasn't snowing... it was dense fog. The peacefully white wall allowed us to have visibility between 20-60 feet of visibility from the moment we started the incline all the way up to Deadman's Pass. Since this was a pass I'd been going on since I was a kid it wasn't too frightening but definitely a new experience.

After the mountain pass we made our arrival to Caldwell, Idaho without a hitch. We set-up shop there for the night and enjoyed stayed up late listening to family stories, stand up comedy and playing FIFA on Xbox 360, which I'm horrible at by the way. Our night in Caldwell was a great de-stresser and relaxing especially considering the next leg of our trip which led us to the heart of downtown Salt Lake City, Utah.

WINNER!

I know it's a bit late, but here's my "gloating" post. History was made two days ago, the first Black president was elected by a landslide victory over a literal American hero. I've heard many reasons for this happening; the race factor, the Bush factor (the failing economy is included in this). The most overlooked yet most accurate is that Barack Obama was the better choice.*

Months ago, after the candidates were chosen for both major parties I took it upon myself to research them independently. The following are some of the reasons that led me to vote for Barack Obama, contrary to the assumption of upset conservatives who think I'm a brainwashed idiot who has no political prowess and just follows the hype;

• Redirecting tax breaks to the middle class - When I vote, I tend to remember America as a representative democracy and it is our duty to vote for the person who represents us the most. As someone who doesn't have a net worth of a million dollars, I voted for the one candidate who has a goal (remember, these are politicians and there are no magic wands or for sure things)to help out my demographic; the poor college kid who is choosing a career that will cement his place in the lower middle class, below the national average for income. REMEMBER, This may not work; however, I'm more willing to put a man in the white house who will try to help my demographic instead of one who will keep the same faulty tax breaks that save the middle class pennies while the rich save millions.
• Proponent of Americans With Disability Act - This was a plus to me. When I did my research, Barack Obama was the only candidate of the two major parties that mentioned anything regarding disabled Americans. It was only until after Sarah Palin joined the McCain campaign that this became a footnote on their titanic voyage to the white house. That being said, I was very glad to see that Sarah Palin, who couldn't be more different from me ideologically, drew a lot of interest into the political process from disabled Americans, a definite positive result of her presence.
• Energy - I believe strongly that the transition to green energy is the pass into the club of elite countries and Barack Obama shares this vision. Of course, unlike John McCain, Obama wasn't going to rely on potentially hazardous energy sources such as Nuclear Power, although he may not rule it out, and destroy natural environments for Oil just in case the renewable energy thing didn't work out.
• Iraq - I disagreed with the war in 2003. I still disagree with it today because it ushered in a scary era in American foreign policy which is based on unilateral warfare on soveirgn nations. I strongly believe that a timetable is needed for troop withdrawals from Iraq so we can focus our resources on credible threats to our nation's safety. Barack Obama agreed.
• ABORTION - I don't buy into the fear mongering of talk radio hosts who tout Barack Obama as a man who will systematically abort every fetus he sees. I understand that he voted against a ban on abortion. Obama did so to ensure the right to life of women considering that was at stake in the same "gotcha" bill. To call Barack Obama a baby killing candidate would be similar to calling any one who voted "yes" on the same bill a woman killer. It's decisive, partisan hardball that is meant to scare you into voting for crappy candidates.
• Shallow Stuff - He is a good speaker, he is intelligent and he seems down to earth. I also like the idea that he spent time as a community organizer in low income neighborhoods, although some see this as a downside, after graduating from the ivy league with a law degree. That alone shows that he naturally had a different set of priorities than typical politicians. But, this doesn't really matter in terms of politics, that's why it's in the "shallow stuff" part.

I could go on but this is already too long. There are many more reasons why I voted for him and, judging by the sheer size of his victory, there are many who feel the same as myself. But here is a very important warning to all who voted as I did. It is our civic duty to remember that politics isn't something you take part in every four years. It is our job as Americans to make sure that this representative remembers his priorities and remembers those who put him there. We need to stay aware and involved in the political process throughout the years so when the next election comes we can decide whether or not there needs to be another representative to take his seat.

Ending my long shpeel, I've embedded his acceptance speech just in case you missed it. I'd also like to ask all my readers to remember who you are, a vital part in a democratic society, and how much of a blessing it is that you're able to live in a country where authority can switch from one leader to another peacefully.

* as a matter of personal opinion.

UPDATE-DIZZLE!!!

Since my last update I have:

• Fallen in love with Organic Fruit Leather.
• Eaten Thai Food out of a trailer.
• Voted for Barack Obama.
• Read Ron Paul's The Revolution: A Manifesto and realized he isn't that cool.
• Thought of every possible Christmas present that would come my way and still can't conclude what Cambra has planned.
• Laughed at Matt's suggestive banana costume on Halloween.
• Re-Discovered NPR.
• Found my CD case filled with old demos of bands Misled Mayhem played with.
• Lost my IPOD.
• Started painting again only to abruptly get bored with it and return to sculpting.
• Laughed at this video as well as this one.
• Ate cotton candy.
• Discovered I mention food a lot when I blog.
• Started reading 1776 and decided it's awesome 90 pages in.
• Continued my loathing of Internet classes, especially those that are science related.

So I Don't Pay Tithing On My Tips From Stripping?

When I read the following article I was suprised to find that it wasn't our church denying to accept the tithe of a lottery winner, it just goes to show that giving money earned through non-christian acts to a christian church is looked down upon among most denominations.
Click on the link for the First Coast News report.

I promised I'd share silly things again.

Buyer Beware: University Courtyard, Rexburg Idaho

I've debated quite a bit on whether or not to post this but I decided it'd be important to make a post for prospective renters to find when researching Rexburg housing. This is my first serious post on this blog I believe, I apologize to my readers I'll return to posting crappy satire and videos of Kerri Strugg soon.

Rating: 1 out of 10; the reason this apartment complex receives a one is simply due to it's location across the street from the BYU-Idaho campus and it's newer condition. All other factors of this complex are negative and shows that the owner has one thing in mind; take money from the married Mormon college kids who have limited choices in terms of housing.

Why you shouldn't give this apartment complex your money:

1. Unethical business practices; in order to maximize their profit margin they have a revolving door of tenants that allows them to make substantial profits off of the $300 deposit each new tenant has to provide. They achieve this revolving door by requiring a 90 day notice to renew the lease and since these leases correspond with the terms of BYU-Idaho a tenant needs to make a decision to renew one month after living there before they sell your apartment to a new group of tenants. One could sum up their procedures as putting new tenants, who will need to pay the extra deposit, ahead of the current tenants on the priority list; where as all other apartment complexes in Rexburg, or in the galaxy for that matter, do it the opposite way.

2: Bad management; the managers, though amazingly nice people, are no help and do not have your best intentions in mind. Beware, if you're still silly enough to try this place, the Internet the managers want to sell for you is as slow as a dial-up modem and works 45% of the time. Not to mention, the managers will want you to put down one of those lucrative deposits on their Internet as well; there is no plausible reason for a deposit on Internet, perhaps they need to clean the internet's carpet as well.

3: High Rent: The rent for what you get at University Courtyard is preposterous. When we were there we had to pay $520 a month for what appeared to be a hallway with a kitchen and bathroom in the middle. Don't think it's the market, you can get two bedrooms in Rexburg for that price, in fact other Rexburg complexes with the same layout as Univervisty Courtyard go for around $375 a month and put their tenants first.

4: They will break the law in order to make money; this fact is probably the most disturbing of them all, although I'm truly at fault for actually being naive enough to think that these land-lords in BYUtopia would act as humans and not businessmen.

In our situation the owner denied us the ability to renew our lease even though we had a legal contractual agreement that said we could; for those of you who read reason number one you'd know why. In our lease there was a discrepancy on days to renew our lease, the first page stated 90 days but the inner-pages stated 60, and we asked to have our lease renewed before the deadline of 60 days which resulted in us being put on a wait list for our own apartment that had been sold to new tenants. This act was illegal. In terms of law, if there is a flaw in the contract that flaw goes against the contractor when being interpreted; thus meaning we legally had the right to renew our contract.

Of course, when I brought up this concern up to the manager personally he stated there are usually people in my wife and I's circumstance every time the leasing period ends. Which showed me that they've put forth effort to create this revolving door of tenants and also that they don't fear any legal action considering the tenants they exploit are college students who are in debt to their eyeballs thanks to tuition.

In conclusion; if you have any choice between University Courtyard and any other apartment, choose the other apartment. It is a sincere hope that Brigham Young University Idaho takes a hard look at the housing situation for married students, especially in regards to regulating them, because if they don't this could put a wrench in the gears of the growth machine we've been seeing since the school became a 4 year university. Feel free to comment and add your horror story or call me a complete and utter moron.

Related Links:
University Courtyards Official Website
Better Business Bureau - If you were treated in a similar fashion, report them.
BYU-Idaho's Community Housing Page - Encourage the University to regulate married housing to prevent the exploitation of their students.

Oregon Lured Us Back

It didn't take long for Oregon to lure us back; Cambra and I have decided to move back to the land of fertile lands and large rivers to continue our schooling. Rexburg isn't a bad place at all; Oregon is just better. The main factors that allowed us to come to the decision to downgrade schools were cost of schooling, scenery (potato farms and deserts got nothing on cherries and Mt. Hood) and last but not least my freedom to wear shorts and grow facial hair; take that honor code.

It hasn't taken us long to re-socialize to the Oregon lifestyle, we've already attended Saturday Market in Portland, climbed Multnomah Falls, had two separate tie-dye parties, got jobs working on one of the local fruit-lines and vowed to make the leap to organic food when we make our "for-reals" move. After proof reading that list I want to kick my own butt for sounding lame. Anyway, here are some pictures from our adventures back in the greatest state in the union.

From the Bridge looking up
The Columbia River on the way up
Multnomah Falls Lite
Top of Multnomah Falls

Do You Remember....

When this happened?



I sure do! This past weekend has given me a chance to really look back on America's great moments and of course the American hero Kerri Strug came to mind. Nevermind the rebel philosophers that decided on the final draft of the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, were they battling a broken ankle? I think not.

I hope you still get goosebumps from this video; if not, you're un-American.

I'm Ready For Vacation

I should be studying, taking a quiz and/or doing my reading for religion. That would be possible, if I wasn't Mike. I would be a horrible marathon runner, in terms of my academia I come out of the gates on fire and then meander my way across the finish line. With that personal confession out of the way you can understand that I am ready for a break now that we have one last full week of class before finals. My cynicism has increased dramatically.

The glamour of being in a four year school has vanished, I am now beginning to notice a bit more the annoying idiosyncrasies that exist among people -- I'm not all high and mighty, I know the fact that I mention it makes me guilty as well -- and it's really making me scoff on a regular basis. Let me explain.

In high school, there was approximately 10-15 people I didn't like out of a school of 400. I believe on all levels of education there is a consistent number of annoying people. If I then take the 1:40 ratio and apply it to 11,000 at BYU-Idaho for summer semester that means there are approximately 275 people on campus that possess annoying traits in my cynical eyes.

Did I mention I'm ready for a vacation?

Bright side, things aren't bad in any sense. I am enjoying my time here at the university and am meeting some awesome friends. That shouldn't be too suprising considering I find 10,725 people to be pleasant.

If It's Good Enough for Kirby it's Good Enough for Me.

Luckily we in the church don't live by the mantra that is the title of this entry. Especially since our beloved Peter Priesthood, that has made us chuckle through the years as the stationary guy in Sons of Provo or the geeky returned missionary in the RM, has decided to promote the cool refreshing taste of Miller Lite. That's right, Kirby Heyborne is a spokesman for beer.

We as Kirby fans could have seen is excessive alcohol abuse for years now. From his slow depressing music that's always talking about the one that got away, to his impaired judgement when he decided to participate in the monstrosity of cinema known as The Singles Second Ward. Man I hate sequels.

I'm getting way too far ahead of myself, Kirby more than likely doesn't drink. Maybe in the commercial Kirby is getting excited because his beer-tracking friend was going to lead him to a white field all ready to be harvested as he carried his sickle proudly.

More than likely, however, he was just epitomizing the complacent church members that my American Heritage teacher told us about during his soapbox worthy diatribe of how we in the church allow ourselves to be manipulated by our countries consumer culture. You know like appearing in beer commercials, which is definitely against the honor code, to get your foot in the door of the entertainment industry.

If Kirby were a punk rocker and the population of mormonism were 16 year olds with purple hair I'm sure we'd all be shouting the term "sell-out." Here's the commercial for those who haven't seen it.

BYU-I: Elephants and Donkeys Throwdown in the Cage

I have the days off Tuesday and Thursday while the love's at work, coincidentally I get really bored. I study and what not but sometimes that doesn't stimulate me enough. Luckily today there was something goin' down that did the trick, this is after I played soccer in the hail for a few hours, the College Republicans and College Democrats (the phantom group that I guess represents my views the most) faced off amongst a predominately republican crowd at BYU-Idaho, yeah go figure.

I went and enjoyed myself. It was entertaining but the Republicans obviously had home field advantage and took the debate with ease, considering it was graded on crowd response and not the issues themselves. It didn't matter what the democrats presented or how well they did it, the Republicans were able to conquer with one of the many cards they borrowed from Sean Hannity; democrats would present figures for immigration the republicans would play the national security card, regarding energy national security with the addition of anti-ecosystem rhetoric.

My big pet peeve of the night was that there were obvious gaps and double standards that the "away" team in blue didn't capitalize on. It was this fact alone that inspired me to make a life changing decision, embrace my inner-democrat. JUST FOR THE RECORD, I really dislike Barrack Obama and Hilary Clinton but considering the obvious domination of the reds here on campus I should support the party I'm registered with; especially considering we'll be in Iraq for the next 50 years and the Republicans still decide to tie every political issue today to 9/11.

That being said, don't be suprised when you see my name associated with the BYU-Idaho Campus Democrats. I'm a yankee fan, I can't help but support a losing side.

I Love Curved Test Scores.

I enjoy good grades. Sometimes I enjoy mindnumbing activities more, which sometimes hinders my pursuit for good grades. Luckily, in this world of univerity exams there's a great tool that helps people like me out. The curve.

I am currently in a class at BYU-Idaho where the lectures don't do much at all, in fact the professor on www.ratemyprofessor.com has a rather consistent grading of around 2 out of 5 for most things. I don't want to share his name because that's rather immature and blogging is stupid, even more so when it's done to harm one's character. Anyway, back to the story.

I was so pumped to score a 69% on his exam (a personal improvement I might add). I was all set to accept the 69% and be proud, however that's not the case in this class. Apparently I'm not the only person in his class that feels this way about the teaching methods, in fact the average test score was way below that of mine which introduced me to the beauty of the curve. Thanks to the majority of the class being worse than my mediocre self I was able to score a 91% on the test after he brought the average test score to the 75% range. How amazing is that.

College, it doesn't matter if your top of the class just make sure you're better than last.

Here's a picture that epitomizes this post if you're one of them folks that prefer pictures.

Misled Mayhem Archive Post 1

I'll periodically post some old Misled Mayhem stuff that's been chillin' on my hard drive for years in order to back it up on the interweb. Enjoy it.

Mike Experience Update 5/29

Life's been mad busy lately, with the whole three tests in three days thing and suprise test material in Biology on the day of. Regardless, Cambra and I survived and we're still pushin' on.

I was a little bummed to find that I couldn't perform at the Guitars Unplugged concert because I'll be coming back to the mothership that weekend but luckily BYU-I has the "acoustic cafe" which is apparently Guitars Unplugged Lite which I'll be auditioning for on Tuesday.

College spirit weeks seem a bit bland, in fact I would of had no idea that we were currently showing off our spirit if it were not for our dress up days at work. Of course, the only day I participated in was "Sports Apparel Day." Can you blame me? You know I'd wear my Yankees jersey any day of the week instead of my Business attire, come on.

Speaking of baseball, I used some positive reinforcement on myself which was on a fixed ratio schedule with Stephen Colbert being the stimulus. It worked, my biology test score went up 9% points and I also got to see this hilarious video. Watch it; seriously, it'll change your life.

BYU Idaho's Version of Rebellion

Student dissent has been a long standing tradition in the US as well as the world over. In America it's become somewhat of a sociological paradox. Why would a privileged group of young adults, keep in mind less than half of Idaho High School graduates attend College, choose to fight the system that'll give them success later in life?

Student activism has had many hardcore groups that did less than intelligent things, some bordered terrorism (Google Weather Underground), and protested everything beneath the sun (Google 1968). BYU-I now has it's own group of rebels who, taking the cue from their predecessors, have begun their dissent... in a neat little newspaper.

These privileged mormon kids aren't worried about insignificant crap like the environment, civil rights or any of that boring stuff you see on CNN, they have bigger fish to fry. Take for instance the on going battle over the honor code. Who cares about our energy crisis when you can't wear flip-flop sandals to class. I agree with them, however, having to shave before class is a pain but is it worth printing a newspaper about? I think we're pretty lucky if our biggest concern is having to wear pants during the summer.

Why We Get Hungry and Sleepy at Church.

Studying Psychology has allowed me to become acquainted with various schools of thought as well as their theories on what dictates our actions. It was this state of enlightenment that allowed me to come to a possible reason as to why we all get sleepy and hungry at church. That reason being prayer.

LDS doctrine states that we should pray often, most LDS families pray before eating and going to bed at night. The experiment of the behaviorist Ivan Pavlov has provided us with information on how we become sleepy and/or hungry after a prayer. In Pavlov's experiment he found that a dog had a conditional reflex that caused the dog to drool when presented with a certain stimuli, in his case chili.

Is it far-fetched to believe that we as LDS people have developed a conditional reflex? Is our desire for sleep and food triggered by the stimulus of prayer? I'm starting to think Pavlov was right. If you say a prayer before dinner each night of the work week, that's five different prayers signaling food. If a prayer is said before bed each night of the work week, that five prayer's signaling rest. Now it seems plausible to conclude that in a three hour block of church that, excluding sacrament, consists of six different prayers one could have a reflex action to such a stimulus. And in our culture, it appears as though that reflex would be food or rest.

If you're still confused, watch the Office explain Pavlov's findings. It's in the video 3:00 minutes in.

My Pez Wishlist

2008 appears to be an awesome year for new Pez, according to the official Pez Website they've released a commemorative Mickey Mouse Tin and also added to the Finding Nemo and Disney Princess series. A huge addition, because of my other obsessions, was the contemporary MLB series which was released in February and yes it includes the New York Yankees.

There are still two huge releases to come. One of which is the Pirates of the Caribbean series which includes Captain Jack Sparrow, Davey Jones and Will Turner. Yes I want all three. The second huge release is the Star Trek gift set that has the original crew, a great collector's item that will be coming in October. It's fun to see that ever since the Orange County Choppers tin that Pez continues to make realistic human dispensers, it really has become a new era.

Here's my wish list thus far:

Mickey Mouse 80 years collectible tin
Sours: Color Crystal set
MLB pez New York Yankees
Batman Offer
Lion King set total
Pirates of the Caribbean Series
Star Trek Gift Set

That's How I Do It...

I don't know why I'm even writing in this, I'm so disappointed in all 30 of you that have viewed my blog and haven't voted. Tisk Tisk Tisk, consider yourself chastised. Vote already.

Story Time
After some last minute cramming, which I've learned doesn't work thanks to my psychology book, I took my first university exam. Since I haven't ruled out the idea of graduate school I was really pushing for something over 90% however I pulled out an 85% after realizing there was a section I overlooked when studying.

In my book an 85% isn't anything to complain about, especially since this unit was based on Neuroscience and other biological crap that I suck at. Heck, if I'd gotten an 85% back in high school Mom and Dad would have taken me out to celebrate my rare moment of raising the bar. Speaking of which, mom and dad if you're reading this I expect some Spooky's Pizza in my mail box.

My Audition for BYU-I's Guitars Unplugged

So apparently, there's this huge show that takes place on campus once a semester that is strictly acoustic guitar performances; of course, being the seasoned performer that I am I decided that I should audition. The problem that I'm facing however, is what one song should I play. That's why I'm asking for your help, all of you who have watched me perform my set list over the last 4-5 years.

As you've noticed I've added a poll to the right hand side of the screen, what I'd like you to do is choose the one you enjoyed me singing the most as well as which one you, the audience member, enjoyed singing with me. I know I've played way over 4 songs in that time span so feel free to add one that you liked which isn't in the poll by commenting to the entry.

If you're a student at BYU-I that's interested in performing at this event click here for the audition information.

Rage Against the Machine and Mormonism

It has become a daily occurrence for me to notice at least one clean cut Mormon kid on the BYU-I campus wearing a Rage Against the Machine shirt. I have to admit, as a person who routinely wears his Rage shirt which was purchased in '99 after the release of Battle of Los Angeles, that it's comforting to know that other's enjoy their radically political rap-rock.

A brief history on Rage Against the Machine, they're known for their outspoken Chomsky loving rhetoric which flows through their heavy metal riffs; in fact, "the machine" is liberal double speak for "establishment." If you want to know what kind of band they are consider this, the official Rage Against the Machine website states that "following the 9/11 attacks, Clear Channel create[d] a list of 'songs with questionable lyrics.' RATM has the distinction of being the only band to have all its songs on the list."

Add that to the fact that 99% of Madison County voted for George W. Bush in 2004 and you have yourselves a culture erratic. Of course, it's not too odd to have political radicals, left or right wing, in the LDS church due to the neutrality stance in terms of politics. It's just a coincidence that the majority turn out to be right wing and/or constitutionalists.

Long story short, RATM if you want to play a show that will get you back in the spotlight fast come to Rexburg Idaho. You'll be playing in front of your fan base in a county where 99% of it's population see your political ideals as utter garbage. It's the perfect formula for the controversial show that will get you back on top.

What Happened to Summer?

This morning my Internet wasn't working so I meandered on down to the university library to do my homework. On my way there, my entire left side had been coated in white from the snow which was being carried horizontally to me thanks to the freezing wind. Which begs the question, what happened summer?

For those of you who want to know what it's like here look at the image, this was from http://www.weather.com no more than three minutes ago.



Enjoy your sunshine and BBQ's because I'm walking to work tonight in a summer snow storm. How great it is.

Cheap Way To Get Gas...

...and you thought I'd rant about gas prices. Here's what I've been living off of. I love foods that cause me abdominal discomfort so this one's right up my alley. It's a delicious man-meal and it's uber-affordable, prepare to be amazed.

First: get yourselves some curly fries, they come in bags now-a-days so you can just slip them into a deep fryer or the oven. I choose to use the oven because the hot oil isn't something I dig.



Second: grab some chili, mine's in Rubbermaid because it's leftovers from the night before but if you're new to the world of chili yours will most likely be found in a can.




Third: Get some cheese. If you have a block, be sure to cut it. hehe. I hate the extra work so I spend some extra pennies per ounce to have it pre-grated.



Then, if you're able to put the steps together properly, you should have a delicious meal that looks like this.



You can use your hands, if you like mess, but I'm a civilized male and prefer to use that utensil that looks like a spoon with slits in it.

Oh dear, Polygamy's in the spotlight again.

It must be that time of year, Polygamy's in the news. If this comes as a suprise to anyone, they should come out from the rock they're living behind. Polygamy coverage comes 'round almost once every year, the media drills it into our skulls and after perpetuating the negative connotation of the term "cult" they go on to the next tragedy.

Here are the definitions of Polygamy. Polygamy, the practice or condition of having more than one spouse, esp. wife, at one time. Or, in Zoology, the habit or system of mating with more than one individual, either simultaneously or successively... the latter definition makes the majority of the population of humanity, which in biological terms makes us all highly evolved primates, guilty of polygamy.

If you've noticed, we're a nation that admires this practice. Don't believe me? Turn on MTV, VH1 or E! and you'll see polygamy integrating itself into our cultural fabric. Who are we as a nation when we criticize the unibrowed, awkward haired folk of the FLDS "cult" then commence watching Flavor of Love, Rock of Love or worst Girls Next Door (which shows the domestic partnership of Hugh Hefner and multiple women). Quite the cultural double standard if you ask me.

As a member of the LDS church, I've been asked questions about polygamy multiple times. I go on to make it clear that the official LDS church has stopped the practice long ago and that even when in practice leaders such as Brigham Young took on elderly widows as wives for the mere purpose of supporting them financially.

In a nutshell, our culture views multiple partners for intimate relations as ok and those who use multiple partners for child rearing as unacceptable; both of which I happen to diasgree with.

Disclaimer: I in no shape or fashion defend any act of child abuse or sexual abuse that may have went on inside the FLDS compound, if the allegations are true their actions are horrendous and should be punished accordingly. My commentary is how we view the practice of multiple partners as a culture, not the illegal conduct that may have occured within the confines of the community that practice polygamy.

The Greatest Philosophical Statement Ever

If only we'd spend more time watching cult films instead of watching Dr. Phil.

How's Idaho?

The land of potatos is Interesting, I'm yet to see anyone resembling Napoleon Dynamite but the culture shock from just a 600 mile move is still showing itself. I used to think that our little conservative pocket in Oregon was bad but now that I reside in Zion v.2 I've begun to understand my misevaluation.

To give you a little background on Rexburg it's about 15,000 residents which doesn't include BYU students. According to salon.com, 99% of Madison County voted for the man who will soon surpass Buchanan as the worst president of all time. In other words, it's a perfect place for the once anarcho-punk obsessed drummer of the liberal punk band Misled Mayhem. If my abandoned teenage politics didn't make me feel awkward my five o'clock shadow will.

The positive side of being in Rexburg for summer is that the one month of sunshine will be coming here pretty soon, which will soon be followed by torrential downpours of snow and we all know how well I drive in the snow. Anyway, I felt I should update the mike experience for all y'all that are wondering how things are going.

Side Note: My soccer blog hit a landmark in that it had it's first 200 hit day... which was really only 199 because one of the hits was due to a person looking for porn. Oh well, a hit's a hit.

My Letter to the Editor: Skate Park Drama

I decided to stoop down to the level of a letter writer today after I became bored enough to read said awesomeness on the chronicle's website. On it there was a letter going on about how horrible the location is for the proposed skate park; which is set for Howe Park which has been void of any function for years. Here's my humorous letter full of pomp.

Unfortunately I was unable to attend Wednesday’s meeting, but I still feel the need to add some insightful yet humorous information to this whole skate park debate.
I agree with Tom Early, not with the over generalized inference that all skaters are hoodlums, but in the fact that I know what it’s like to have been duped by those sneaky folks at the NWCPR. I remember a few years back I was all excited, the sun was shining on a beautiful spring afternoon and I grabbed my loud, annoying skateboard to go to our designated spot hidden from authority figures with ramps made of rotting wood. Upon arrival I became hip to their deception, the skate park the community funded had been torn down.
Of course, after my adolescent naivety fled my angered head, common sense took control. It was in this state that I had an epiphany, realizing that our little skate park wasn’t a teenage utopia; in fact, it was old, dirty, falling down and in an all around horrible location. In retrospect, the adult in me can respect the decision of NWCPR to remove the skate park with the intentions of building it in a new location.
Utah Phillips said one of the signs of being old is when you start criticizing youth, I guess I’m getting old. Another gift of my maturity is that I’ve noticed how abhorrent skaters in public can be, running around town chipping curbs, getting in the way of consumers at stores, annoying commuters; the appearance of such groups has multiplied since the absence of a functioning skate park.
Those truths lead us to where we are now, do we sit and wait years upon years for an entire youth center to be built to rid our streets of these cursing, drug using, vandalizing, under-aged drinkers? Or do we support the Parks and Recreation department to build one ASAP giving these kids (most of which don’t do the things that I just said, I was merely adding it in for satirical purposes) a centralized location in the view of many? It’s a public park and NWCPR rules will apply; the only difference from last time being that if placed in Howe Park it will be easier for the authorities, with help from community members, to enforce them.

I Wish it Were April (Mike Experience Version)

As I sit here, drapped in a cozy cuddle blanket with the logo of my favorite empire covering every inch, I find myself eager for baseball season. I'm still excited despite congress' attempts to destroy the game by calling out/worshiping the greatest players in history about alleged steroid injections in their millionaire tushies; all the while, ignoring wars, recession and the fact that gas is still expensive.

I can't wait for those lazy Saturday afternoons when you sit back on the couch and watch Fox's medicore coverage for a good 4-5 hours. If it's the Blue Jays vs. the Devil Rays, then that sitting position will probably turn into more of a reclined posture as drool vacates my open mouth accompanied by the rumbling of my victorious growl of sleep; which in it's own right is still very edifying.

I believe it was Jay Marriotti on Around the Horn who made mention that regardless of the scandal, baseball will always survive. This commentary parallel's my own thoughts on the current steroid garbage. I say let's move on so the nation can begin their hated of my beloved Yankees, their hopeful wishing that the cubs may be successful and their eager wait to see which long ball hitter shines this year. If our situation doesn't change, that successful hitter will have to give testimony to congress contradicting a glory seeking nobody who wasn't good enough to be a cop.

That being said, start making plans for the first match up of your favorite rivaly and get your chores done so the wife (or mother) will be more apt to letting you gloriously waste 4-5 hours of your day in one the most englightening experience one may have; watching baseball.

I didn't know Glenn Beck was LDS

Do Not Watch States of Grace

MAN! I was looking for an uplifting movie that rocked and Richard Dutcher did not come through. I guess it makes sense that he tagged it as God's Army 2 even though it shouldn't be considered a sequel at all. The truth of the matter is that he probably added the God's Army 2 tag so we as a consumer would be like "Oh, just another crappy sequel," when in reality, it was a horrible original that just happened to have LDS missionaries in it.

Taco Bell Assisted Me in Self-Sabotage

After playing FIFA 08 on my parent's Nintendo Wii, I had a monstrous craving for the lovely Taco Bell. After talking to my lovely and supportive wife she allowed me to take a trip south of the border. I knew that I would get the usual, three crunchy tacos and a burrito of the day which is to add a little flare to the routine. Due to my wife and I's inadvertent vow of poverty, our trips to the Bell have been limited to approximately once every other week, which is a drastic change from 2-3 visits per week (a.k.a my working days), I have been able to make quite a bit of progress on my quest to an amazing upper body.

After this one trip to Taco Bell, my stint of fitness has gone into a tailspin and in lieu of doing ab workouts I'm watching Setanta Broadband and releasing the CH4 buildup that Taco Bell has given me. Moral of this story, don't eat Taco Bell if you want washboard abs.

John Denver Was A Confused Vampire

John Denver once said "Early to rise, early in the sack" this does not mean that he is simply a country boy. This slip up shows that the late John Denver was in fact a confused vampire, forever believing that it was opposite day. Which makes me afraid, is it possible that rural America and 70% of Republican states are in fact un-intelligent vampires? I believe this should be a true concern of the media in the presidential race, forget Romney's faith and the possibility that Obama maybe Islamic, half of the voting populace could be vampires. Does this not scare anyone?

Oh well, you heard it here first.

Michigan Loves the Mormons

Since I make the rules here, I'm breaking one. I'm writing about politics.

The press better do another quick sweep of Wikipedia for an LDS misconception to exaggerate nationally, because Mitt's still running strong. That's right, strike one up for the Mitt-a-nator. Romney has won his first major primary in the race for the presidency; according to MSNBC Romney now leads Huckabee nationally by 10 delegates. Only 1,149 to go.

My Apology

I want to say sorry, to anyone who read my blog about the town hall. Beyond my own expectations I wrote a blog about politics. It will never happen again.

Why It's Hard to Find a Job.

My wife and I have just returned from a church workshop on careers and employment. The missionaries that were giving this workshop did an excellent job and it really provided me with some incite on how to effectively find a job.

In the LDS Employment Resource book entitled "The Career Workshop" there is a section on the importance of networking. Previously to our discussion on this section I felt that the phrase "it's all a matter of who you know" was reserved for rappers and actors, boy was I wrong. The book cites a survey by J. Michael Farr, from www.jistworks.com/jstips.htm. Of all the people who were surveyed, 14% of them found jobs through the Want Ads; which could be due to the idea that those jobs are filled by the time they reach the press. Who takes those jobs before they reach the papers? Most likely by those who share the same practice as the 30% of people who found their jobs through direct employer contact.

Going back to rappers and actors, they are right. It is all who you know. According to the survey 36%, the highest percentage, of people gained their employment through networking. I can testify that this is true, because every job that I've ever hopped through hoops for, after finding it through the classifieds, has turned me down; where as, all the jobs that I have had in my life were found using my six degrees of separation.

Go figure, all that talk of setting a good example and having a good reputation does pay off. Tally that one up as another token of knowledge that I wish I had as a teenager.

I Wish Global Warming Would Hurry Up...

...I mean seriously. I believed Al Gore when he said there was global warming on the horizon, why debate a man who invented this glorious Internet, I just wish it'd hurry up already. For that last two days here in Oregon, due to snow, I have been working on a mad case of cabin fever; using the dueling schools of thought in psychology as my entertainment. If only we as Oregonians could order up some of that global warming for the months of November through March we'd be set. Heck, let's have it year round so we can grow Mangoes.

Oh yeah, I think I just convinced myself to use hairspray, buy an SUV and raise methane releasing cows. Never underestimate the power of ones mind.

Sister-In-Law + M-80 = Humorous Musing

My wife interrupted my studies today to read to me this myspace bulletin posted by my sister-in-law. Enjoy.

so today i was just like walking to lunch and i was talking to my little brother jaron like 10 seconds before and he walked ahead of me and i was just thinking oh i'm so happy today tra la la .. AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN A FREAKING M80 FALLS BETWEEN MY LEGS AND BLOWS UP!!!!i was like WHAT THE HECK! i didn't even scream though i was just like oh crap! and it was just really loud and it kind of hurt my ears but i just kept walking and my assistant principal was sitting there and she goes omg are you ok?! i was like yeah i was just kind of like surprised and then i felt something coming down my leg so i looked down and i was bleeding so i was like oh crap what the heck.. that sucks.. and so she takes me to the nurses office and they're like what happened? and the lady was like an M80 just blew up right beside her i was like oh great i don't know what that is and she goes that's a 1/4 stick of dynamite i was like oh my that sucks and then i started laughing because i was so shaking up and scared that it was just funny to me i was like oh my gosh i don't even know what to do ... like i just got asploded by a 1/4 stick of dynamite!! so they call my mom and all the rizz razz and the security came and talked to me and i filled out an incident report and then yeah they wrapped up my leg and i was good to go.then my mommy took me out of school and i went and cashed my check.That's my story.pretty crazy yeah....☼♥♀

I Wannabe Hardcore

After viewing a picture of Arsenal's Emmanuel Adebayor with his core exposed; I, American Gooner and fitness guru (see first post), have decided to labor and obtain an amazing core and overall muscle mass similar to that of the Arsenal striker. If you look at the tale of the tape, I feel this quest is in theory possible... the gaining of 15 pounds, not so much the washboard abs.

I feel another contributor to my quest of buffness, with emphasis on my core, is the commercial with Peyton Manning. It was Manning that stated if you're not in your early twenties you should give up on the "rock-hard abs" and since your's truly is still in his bottom twenties now's the time. HOORAH. Usually I don't take the words of people that can't understand the term "football" and continue to use their hands, but if someone gives advice in my favor I'll definitely see them as credible. That being said, look out world, I'm bringing sexy back.

Happiness is Awesome

Dear cynical cesspool known as the Internet,

I am here to proclaim to all the antagonistcally negative people of the world that happiness is awesome. It matters not what mud has been slung leading up to the Iowa caucus or what inappropriate one-liner was said regarding whatever news article you've read because if you're not happy it ain't worth it.

This brings me to the real reason I blog, I feel it's responsible to mention these because I've already made note of the blog attributes I'd like to avoid. I blog to present the world with the small portions of life that make me happy, so in turn to spread happiness like the plague -- that's right a plague of pastel colored bunny rabbits bouncing around to a Bob Marley album, don't forget the PEZ.... man do I love PEZ.

In honor of the great Bob Marley, I'd like to end this entry with a quote; "Just can't live that negative way...make way for the positive day!" 'Til next time, CAPTAIN MIKE OUT! (Like Ryan Seacrest.)

I want to make an entry...

...but I have no idea what to write about. Here are a few reason as to why I can become blog-blocked.

1. Politics - Blogging about politics gets boring, it's all the same regurgitated non-sense spewing from the blogger's biased pundit of choice. Plus if you're a successful political blogger 75% of your readers loathe you.


2. Lack of Substance - Though I can come up with hilarious punchlines at the drop of a hat, I'm not a bottomless pit of hilarious anecdotes. I don't like talking about nothing, I leave that up to Seinfeld.


3. Myspace Syndrome - I want to avoid getting Myspace syndrome, this condition occurs when your blog lacks substance, blogging for the sake of blogging... like what I am doing right now.

That being said, I'm ending this now. Here is a big red wagon that is in Spokane.

You Can't Spell Home without...

O as in Oh yeah...

After traveling to three different states using two different forms of transportation, one of which I despise, a grand total of 2,000 miles in 5 days; I can now say that my travel bug is hibernating for a while.