My Letter to the Editor: Skate Park Drama

I decided to stoop down to the level of a letter writer today after I became bored enough to read said awesomeness on the chronicle's website. On it there was a letter going on about how horrible the location is for the proposed skate park; which is set for Howe Park which has been void of any function for years. Here's my humorous letter full of pomp.

Unfortunately I was unable to attend Wednesday’s meeting, but I still feel the need to add some insightful yet humorous information to this whole skate park debate.
I agree with Tom Early, not with the over generalized inference that all skaters are hoodlums, but in the fact that I know what it’s like to have been duped by those sneaky folks at the NWCPR. I remember a few years back I was all excited, the sun was shining on a beautiful spring afternoon and I grabbed my loud, annoying skateboard to go to our designated spot hidden from authority figures with ramps made of rotting wood. Upon arrival I became hip to their deception, the skate park the community funded had been torn down.
Of course, after my adolescent naivety fled my angered head, common sense took control. It was in this state that I had an epiphany, realizing that our little skate park wasn’t a teenage utopia; in fact, it was old, dirty, falling down and in an all around horrible location. In retrospect, the adult in me can respect the decision of NWCPR to remove the skate park with the intentions of building it in a new location.
Utah Phillips said one of the signs of being old is when you start criticizing youth, I guess I’m getting old. Another gift of my maturity is that I’ve noticed how abhorrent skaters in public can be, running around town chipping curbs, getting in the way of consumers at stores, annoying commuters; the appearance of such groups has multiplied since the absence of a functioning skate park.
Those truths lead us to where we are now, do we sit and wait years upon years for an entire youth center to be built to rid our streets of these cursing, drug using, vandalizing, under-aged drinkers? Or do we support the Parks and Recreation department to build one ASAP giving these kids (most of which don’t do the things that I just said, I was merely adding it in for satirical purposes) a centralized location in the view of many? It’s a public park and NWCPR rules will apply; the only difference from last time being that if placed in Howe Park it will be easier for the authorities, with help from community members, to enforce them.

I Wish it Were April (Mike Experience Version)

As I sit here, drapped in a cozy cuddle blanket with the logo of my favorite empire covering every inch, I find myself eager for baseball season. I'm still excited despite congress' attempts to destroy the game by calling out/worshiping the greatest players in history about alleged steroid injections in their millionaire tushies; all the while, ignoring wars, recession and the fact that gas is still expensive.

I can't wait for those lazy Saturday afternoons when you sit back on the couch and watch Fox's medicore coverage for a good 4-5 hours. If it's the Blue Jays vs. the Devil Rays, then that sitting position will probably turn into more of a reclined posture as drool vacates my open mouth accompanied by the rumbling of my victorious growl of sleep; which in it's own right is still very edifying.

I believe it was Jay Marriotti on Around the Horn who made mention that regardless of the scandal, baseball will always survive. This commentary parallel's my own thoughts on the current steroid garbage. I say let's move on so the nation can begin their hated of my beloved Yankees, their hopeful wishing that the cubs may be successful and their eager wait to see which long ball hitter shines this year. If our situation doesn't change, that successful hitter will have to give testimony to congress contradicting a glory seeking nobody who wasn't good enough to be a cop.

That being said, start making plans for the first match up of your favorite rivaly and get your chores done so the wife (or mother) will be more apt to letting you gloriously waste 4-5 hours of your day in one the most englightening experience one may have; watching baseball.

I didn't know Glenn Beck was LDS

Do Not Watch States of Grace

MAN! I was looking for an uplifting movie that rocked and Richard Dutcher did not come through. I guess it makes sense that he tagged it as God's Army 2 even though it shouldn't be considered a sequel at all. The truth of the matter is that he probably added the God's Army 2 tag so we as a consumer would be like "Oh, just another crappy sequel," when in reality, it was a horrible original that just happened to have LDS missionaries in it.

Taco Bell Assisted Me in Self-Sabotage

After playing FIFA 08 on my parent's Nintendo Wii, I had a monstrous craving for the lovely Taco Bell. After talking to my lovely and supportive wife she allowed me to take a trip south of the border. I knew that I would get the usual, three crunchy tacos and a burrito of the day which is to add a little flare to the routine. Due to my wife and I's inadvertent vow of poverty, our trips to the Bell have been limited to approximately once every other week, which is a drastic change from 2-3 visits per week (a.k.a my working days), I have been able to make quite a bit of progress on my quest to an amazing upper body.

After this one trip to Taco Bell, my stint of fitness has gone into a tailspin and in lieu of doing ab workouts I'm watching Setanta Broadband and releasing the CH4 buildup that Taco Bell has given me. Moral of this story, don't eat Taco Bell if you want washboard abs.

John Denver Was A Confused Vampire

John Denver once said "Early to rise, early in the sack" this does not mean that he is simply a country boy. This slip up shows that the late John Denver was in fact a confused vampire, forever believing that it was opposite day. Which makes me afraid, is it possible that rural America and 70% of Republican states are in fact un-intelligent vampires? I believe this should be a true concern of the media in the presidential race, forget Romney's faith and the possibility that Obama maybe Islamic, half of the voting populace could be vampires. Does this not scare anyone?

Oh well, you heard it here first.

Michigan Loves the Mormons

Since I make the rules here, I'm breaking one. I'm writing about politics.

The press better do another quick sweep of Wikipedia for an LDS misconception to exaggerate nationally, because Mitt's still running strong. That's right, strike one up for the Mitt-a-nator. Romney has won his first major primary in the race for the presidency; according to MSNBC Romney now leads Huckabee nationally by 10 delegates. Only 1,149 to go.

My Apology

I want to say sorry, to anyone who read my blog about the town hall. Beyond my own expectations I wrote a blog about politics. It will never happen again.