What Happened to Summer?

This morning my Internet wasn't working so I meandered on down to the university library to do my homework. On my way there, my entire left side had been coated in white from the snow which was being carried horizontally to me thanks to the freezing wind. Which begs the question, what happened summer?

For those of you who want to know what it's like here look at the image, this was from http://www.weather.com no more than three minutes ago.



Enjoy your sunshine and BBQ's because I'm walking to work tonight in a summer snow storm. How great it is.

Cheap Way To Get Gas...

...and you thought I'd rant about gas prices. Here's what I've been living off of. I love foods that cause me abdominal discomfort so this one's right up my alley. It's a delicious man-meal and it's uber-affordable, prepare to be amazed.

First: get yourselves some curly fries, they come in bags now-a-days so you can just slip them into a deep fryer or the oven. I choose to use the oven because the hot oil isn't something I dig.



Second: grab some chili, mine's in Rubbermaid because it's leftovers from the night before but if you're new to the world of chili yours will most likely be found in a can.




Third: Get some cheese. If you have a block, be sure to cut it. hehe. I hate the extra work so I spend some extra pennies per ounce to have it pre-grated.



Then, if you're able to put the steps together properly, you should have a delicious meal that looks like this.



You can use your hands, if you like mess, but I'm a civilized male and prefer to use that utensil that looks like a spoon with slits in it.

Oh dear, Polygamy's in the spotlight again.

It must be that time of year, Polygamy's in the news. If this comes as a suprise to anyone, they should come out from the rock they're living behind. Polygamy coverage comes 'round almost once every year, the media drills it into our skulls and after perpetuating the negative connotation of the term "cult" they go on to the next tragedy.

Here are the definitions of Polygamy. Polygamy, the practice or condition of having more than one spouse, esp. wife, at one time. Or, in Zoology, the habit or system of mating with more than one individual, either simultaneously or successively... the latter definition makes the majority of the population of humanity, which in biological terms makes us all highly evolved primates, guilty of polygamy.

If you've noticed, we're a nation that admires this practice. Don't believe me? Turn on MTV, VH1 or E! and you'll see polygamy integrating itself into our cultural fabric. Who are we as a nation when we criticize the unibrowed, awkward haired folk of the FLDS "cult" then commence watching Flavor of Love, Rock of Love or worst Girls Next Door (which shows the domestic partnership of Hugh Hefner and multiple women). Quite the cultural double standard if you ask me.

As a member of the LDS church, I've been asked questions about polygamy multiple times. I go on to make it clear that the official LDS church has stopped the practice long ago and that even when in practice leaders such as Brigham Young took on elderly widows as wives for the mere purpose of supporting them financially.

In a nutshell, our culture views multiple partners for intimate relations as ok and those who use multiple partners for child rearing as unacceptable; both of which I happen to diasgree with.

Disclaimer: I in no shape or fashion defend any act of child abuse or sexual abuse that may have went on inside the FLDS compound, if the allegations are true their actions are horrendous and should be punished accordingly. My commentary is how we view the practice of multiple partners as a culture, not the illegal conduct that may have occured within the confines of the community that practice polygamy.

The Greatest Philosophical Statement Ever

If only we'd spend more time watching cult films instead of watching Dr. Phil.

How's Idaho?

The land of potatos is Interesting, I'm yet to see anyone resembling Napoleon Dynamite but the culture shock from just a 600 mile move is still showing itself. I used to think that our little conservative pocket in Oregon was bad but now that I reside in Zion v.2 I've begun to understand my misevaluation.

To give you a little background on Rexburg it's about 15,000 residents which doesn't include BYU students. According to salon.com, 99% of Madison County voted for the man who will soon surpass Buchanan as the worst president of all time. In other words, it's a perfect place for the once anarcho-punk obsessed drummer of the liberal punk band Misled Mayhem. If my abandoned teenage politics didn't make me feel awkward my five o'clock shadow will.

The positive side of being in Rexburg for summer is that the one month of sunshine will be coming here pretty soon, which will soon be followed by torrential downpours of snow and we all know how well I drive in the snow. Anyway, I felt I should update the mike experience for all y'all that are wondering how things are going.

Side Note: My soccer blog hit a landmark in that it had it's first 200 hit day... which was really only 199 because one of the hits was due to a person looking for porn. Oh well, a hit's a hit.

My Letter to the Editor: Skate Park Drama

I decided to stoop down to the level of a letter writer today after I became bored enough to read said awesomeness on the chronicle's website. On it there was a letter going on about how horrible the location is for the proposed skate park; which is set for Howe Park which has been void of any function for years. Here's my humorous letter full of pomp.

Unfortunately I was unable to attend Wednesday’s meeting, but I still feel the need to add some insightful yet humorous information to this whole skate park debate.
I agree with Tom Early, not with the over generalized inference that all skaters are hoodlums, but in the fact that I know what it’s like to have been duped by those sneaky folks at the NWCPR. I remember a few years back I was all excited, the sun was shining on a beautiful spring afternoon and I grabbed my loud, annoying skateboard to go to our designated spot hidden from authority figures with ramps made of rotting wood. Upon arrival I became hip to their deception, the skate park the community funded had been torn down.
Of course, after my adolescent naivety fled my angered head, common sense took control. It was in this state that I had an epiphany, realizing that our little skate park wasn’t a teenage utopia; in fact, it was old, dirty, falling down and in an all around horrible location. In retrospect, the adult in me can respect the decision of NWCPR to remove the skate park with the intentions of building it in a new location.
Utah Phillips said one of the signs of being old is when you start criticizing youth, I guess I’m getting old. Another gift of my maturity is that I’ve noticed how abhorrent skaters in public can be, running around town chipping curbs, getting in the way of consumers at stores, annoying commuters; the appearance of such groups has multiplied since the absence of a functioning skate park.
Those truths lead us to where we are now, do we sit and wait years upon years for an entire youth center to be built to rid our streets of these cursing, drug using, vandalizing, under-aged drinkers? Or do we support the Parks and Recreation department to build one ASAP giving these kids (most of which don’t do the things that I just said, I was merely adding it in for satirical purposes) a centralized location in the view of many? It’s a public park and NWCPR rules will apply; the only difference from last time being that if placed in Howe Park it will be easier for the authorities, with help from community members, to enforce them.

I Wish it Were April (Mike Experience Version)

As I sit here, drapped in a cozy cuddle blanket with the logo of my favorite empire covering every inch, I find myself eager for baseball season. I'm still excited despite congress' attempts to destroy the game by calling out/worshiping the greatest players in history about alleged steroid injections in their millionaire tushies; all the while, ignoring wars, recession and the fact that gas is still expensive.

I can't wait for those lazy Saturday afternoons when you sit back on the couch and watch Fox's medicore coverage for a good 4-5 hours. If it's the Blue Jays vs. the Devil Rays, then that sitting position will probably turn into more of a reclined posture as drool vacates my open mouth accompanied by the rumbling of my victorious growl of sleep; which in it's own right is still very edifying.

I believe it was Jay Marriotti on Around the Horn who made mention that regardless of the scandal, baseball will always survive. This commentary parallel's my own thoughts on the current steroid garbage. I say let's move on so the nation can begin their hated of my beloved Yankees, their hopeful wishing that the cubs may be successful and their eager wait to see which long ball hitter shines this year. If our situation doesn't change, that successful hitter will have to give testimony to congress contradicting a glory seeking nobody who wasn't good enough to be a cop.

That being said, start making plans for the first match up of your favorite rivaly and get your chores done so the wife (or mother) will be more apt to letting you gloriously waste 4-5 hours of your day in one the most englightening experience one may have; watching baseball.

I didn't know Glenn Beck was LDS